Captain’s Log: Quarantine Day 978

Captain’s Log: Quarantine Day 978

I have been watching cooking shows for three days now. I’ve been actively dieting for two months. The two activities are NOT compatible. 

It all began when I saw a new cooking show on Netflix called Cooked With Cannabis. I love to cook, and to watch cooking shows, so this was not only right up my alley, it also sounded fun. Well, just so you know, it is a cute show and I learned a few odd bits about using cannabis in cooking and what makes things psychoactive or non-psychoactive, etc… During all of this “baking”, I realized I hadn’t made homemade (in a bread machine, but whatever) bread in a while, so I decided a loaf of bread was exactly what I needed to make. I forgot however, that bread smells absolutely goddamn delicious while it bakes. 

I tried so hard to ignore it. I drank water. I ate a banana. I drank more water. I tried to cure the craving for fresh, hot, bread by eating yogurt, and cheese and even a few chips with hummus. It was all to no avail, my body ached for that warm, soft, perfect loaf. It wanted lashings of melty butter and – oh god, what if I put some gooey honey on top of that? I ate half of the contents of my fridge trying to avoid this carb overload. It turns out I should have just eaten the damn bread. Not only did I end up eating my weight in bread and butter, I ate all of that other food trying to quell my craving. 

As I’m writing this post, I have found myself watching  Iron Chef on Hulu playing in the background. I also had a grocery order delivered about half an hour ago. I am in the position now of:

  1. Being a tad hungry because of my diet.
  2. Craving five-star food because I’m watching Iron Chef.
  3. Having access to a crap-ton of food because I’m now fully supplied thanks to InstaCart.

Jesus take the wheel. Help me. Send reinforcements and a muzzle. I do not need to be left unsupervised around all of this food along with access to limitless cooking shows. I am going to end up coming out of this quarantine looking like a hairless water buffalo (see picture). It is not going to be pretty.

Ban Nathon Buffalo Arena (Pink Buffalo) - Forum International ...

I must remember to make the rations last. I must remember that I am a chubby little goblin and must continue my weight loss journey. I must remember how nice it feels to have lost twelve pounds. I must continue this log entry, but honestly, I think I’m going to go eat. 

30 thoughts on “Captain’s Log: Quarantine Day 978

  1. I really know what you mean. It is really hard to nurture or daily routine of diet this time of pandemic crisis.

    Like

  2. Cooked With Cannabis sounds like an interesting show but we will never get here in Japan. Japan is about 0% drugs, even the good stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know what you mean. And it’s especially bad when watching TV and they have snacks or something on a show, like the Golden Girls and cheesecake… It makes me want to eat every single time.

      Like

  3. I had this idea way before the show of cooking food hmm you know. Even though I’ve never tried it. Your post was fun to read! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this line, watching cooking shows and dieting aren’t compatible. Indeed, but what should we do? But eat. XD I try to still perform Intermittent Fasting during this quarantine period so as not to gain more weight.

    Liked by 1 person

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